A Day For Me....

So, today I decided to have a me day. I haven't had one of those in a long time. I put Brock down for a nap and then left him with Grandma Colleen. I went to Hobby Lobby and looked around and then I went next store to the theatre and saw The Secret Life of Bees (sorry Clare!). It was the best movie that I have seen in a long time. I cried, laughed and wanted to stay for an encore. It was that good. Now I want to read the book. I absolutely love to go to the movies all by myself. When Joe and I were dating we would get into silly fights so I would go to the movies all by myself so I wouldn't have to think about him for two whole hours....now I go to enjoy alone time for a couple of hours! I've seen about 6 movies by myself to date. The most moving movie I've ever watched alone was The Passion of The Christ--I know that alot of mormons didn't go see that movie for whatever reasons but it was the most moving movie I have ever seen. I often think about His Mother Mary and how in the movie she had to watch her son carry the cross and struggle and now as a mother I have a great love and reverance for Mary and for the sorrow she must have felt knowing that her son was here to save this world and all they did was ridicule and mock him and ultimately took His life and she could do nothing to stop them. What a sacrifice that must have been for her I remember that when the movie was over everyone in the entire theatre left in total silence. It was a neat experience.

In the movie today one of the people commits suicide and she left a note for her loved ones and it said something about not being able to take the weight of the sadness of this world on her shoulders anymore and that really hit me hard. I cried for my dad today and those of you who know me know that I don't do that very often. It's hard being a child of someone who chose to leave this earth willingly. He never even left a note to let us know why, why he would do something so final to end his pain. I can remember the bishop coming over to my parents house hours after my father passed and he said "Don was just too good for this world, he was too tenderhearted to handle all of the sadness in this world he just had to leave." I truly know with all my heart that my father was a good man and I know where he is and I don't question that for one minute. I know that he regrets his decision to leave us behind but he didn't fully leave this earth because he passed down his good genes to my little man. My daddy could light up the room with his smile and so can Brock. My dad never met a stranger and he was everyone's favorite person and I see that in Brock, I see the joy that Brock brings to strangers when he smiles and waves at them and I know that it comes from his Grandpa Don. I love my father and I always will and nothing makes me happier than to know that through the atonement that I will be able to see him again and when I finally get to wrap my arms around him and hug him I'm not sure that I will ever let go. I love you Daddy.....